Monthly Archives: March 2013

I wished I lived in a Christian Home

Sigh. Sometimes I wished I lived in a Christian Home.

Why is that I am the only member of the family who’s crazy about God?

My atheist uncle is such a down bringer. “In my opinion you’re just wasting your time.”

My agnostic dad….to tell you the truth…man, so it’s like this check this.

The only reason why I decided to come back to God is the thought of healing: spiritual and physical healing. I wanted to find that joy and change my heart into a loving prince, at the same time heal my physical disease with this over-bearing skin disease I have been battling for 7yrs. So I stayed faithful and tried consecration since Nov 2012.

Its now March 30 2013, and let me tell you, HEALING has come! The disease I have is like 90% healed, no more rashes, no more itchiness, and spiritual healing came, restored my faith with JOY inside and PEACE, but im still seeking God because I still need to have that genuine LOVE inside to be a lover of others that I some what struggle with.

Before my consecration, I had a great stable relationship with my Dad.

But then during my consecration, after I told my parents I found my calling through Christ, and told them that I am going to serve full time in ministry someday.

My relationship with my dad, is now very rocky. He just doenst want to acknowledge me as his son, just because I focus all my time onto God rather than trying to be a “normal” person he wants me to be. He’s all like “BE SOMEBODY!”
I say: “I AM and I WILL! THROUGH GOD!”
He’s all like: “*SCOFFS* NO, why cant you just be a regular kid and want to be a lawyer or a doctor?!”

These last several months since November, I’ve just focused all my time on God through reading the word, studying the word, studying in depth of the character of God & Jesus, theological studies, apologetics, praying, worship, ministry studies.
There’s just something about God that I cannot deny, especially after the fact that I saw an angel before my eyes in 2005. I cannot go back to my old life, God is real!

I am not crazy. Yet it’s the person I love the most in my life, my dad, sigh…he thinks im crazy, and says I should go see a shrink. And his brother, my atheist uncle just cannot see or fathom why Im radically to know God.

The truth is my dad is an alcoholic. We’ve had a long history of not getting along, fights, arguments. Eversince I saw him beat my mother every night growing up little child, I saw my one dad who I looked up to as a role model turn into a monster, and a piece of betrayal lay into my heart, turning me into the troubled teenager, and finally finding God in late teens, and thus realizing what’s going on in this world. Thereafter, after my dad went to jail for his alcoholism, and him not have a drivers license anymore, I was forced to be his designated driver, through those 3 years, out came a wonderful father to son relationship.

Now in its fourth year, it’s not that anymore. The relationship vanished because of my willing spirit wanting to pursue Christ full time 24/7 365!

There are many nights where we are arguing back and forth on the topic of Jesus. Ive been trying to get him to listen that He is the truth.

For four years I have been trying to evangelize to him.

The first year, at first I thought it was through rebuking/exhortation. That obviously did not work. The second year, i thought okay maybe If I show him by being a better example as a better person, He will see that okay, he may come. That almost worked, but it wasn’t good enough, it was still vain.
The third year was through prayer and meditation, and letting the holy spirit to come after him in the prophetics. But it’s been weird here, He’s been having prophetic dreams of demons hurting him, and I’ve also been having prophetic dreams of him suffering in the burning fire of hell.

Now it’s in fourth year, I am still praying, but this time im trying to bring in some apologetics of C.S. Lewis into it, but he has a stubborn attitude.

We’ve had many many arguments, yes I win all them through the authority of the bible and God’s wisdom, but He still has a hardened heart of ICE COLD and still stubborn to not take a second to listen, and I understand why. It’s because He’s experienced with false Christian converts who did not embrace him through the power of grace and love as Christ wanted us to exemplify. No wonder why he feels so oppressed and chooses not to listen to Christ, because it were those Presbyterians that affected him to think differ.

And yet my two other members of the family: My mom & my little sister (22yrs). Are also CONFUSED CHRISTIANS. Why cant they see that the world we live is run by satan. No wonder why they are so stubborn to what they think. They support Gay marriage. They believe being Gay is genetic.

They think I am the close minded one for thinking that gay is not genetic? No. I took 6 months out of my life to study the gays, I read books, I studied articles, I met and spent time with the gays, in fact during my freshman year of college, I had a gay roommate.

And what I realize it’s the world that is influencing their minds to think like that.

Look yo. I have love for my gay peoples, I will always be your friend, but that doesn’t mean I support gay marriage. I do not support gay marriage at all. I do not believe being gay is genetic. But I don’t hate gay people. If you want to invite me to your gay festivals, I will come and bring hugs of love, for I know what it feels like to be rejected as I once was growing up.

I think the only two strong Christians in my family is my cousin 1st cousin: Leana & 2nd cousin: Bobbie. I hope that my own fam will see that these intercessors will help them to see the light.

Christianity is not a business!
That’s what people think on the outside, or perceive.
It’s DEEPER than that.
Church is not there to launder money, sure you may see pastors making bank, driving BMW’s/ Mercedes, or the churches looking like royalty. But that wasn’t just from the business logistics. It was given through the grace of God! It took time! It took prayer, it didn’t just magically POOF* came out of thin air!

Yes I understand, that there are some churches out there that do not emphasize this way and make it as a business profit. But do not generalize ALL churches are like that.

And people say, oh yea, going to church, that’s good. You came to meet some girls or get a girlfriend? Or: That’s good, so you’re trying to make a better reputation for yourself? Or: Oh so you wanna look good, a better image. Or: oh church is good for you.

It’s DEEPER bro. It’s to chase the will of God, to understand and engage the relationship. Not come to church to find a calling, but come to church to serve.

Because you want to, because its in your heart, to help! To help restore the kingdom of Heaven on earth, because it’s been so ruined by the weight of man and turned into more image. It’s deeper than that man, cant you see peoples?? It’s not so much about image, its about HIS INTENT: LOVE.

So coming back to my home. I don’t live in a Christian home. And I already can feel the demons hiding and rustling in my backyard behind the bushes. And I always feel a dark presence hovering inside my home. And I already am having encounterances of the demons hibernating inside my vessel, and telling me negative things, and I do get emotional outburst where I wanna cause violence. And then I look at myself, and start being aware, and im like what the hell is going on? Why am I acting like this, why am I randomly getting angry or jealous! GOD PLEASE RESTORE ME. HELP ME.

It’s just tiresome to keep trying to pray to Jesus to help clean the home repetitively with agony and pain, because it’s as if im living in this hell hole of a home, because the demons have invaded, and Im trying so hard to rid of them out of my home, but they keep coming back in. No wonder why it makes sense why my mom, sister, dad is all so negative, depressed, oppressed by the evil.

I ask myself, Can I do this on my own all alone? Or will it be better for one of my fellow radical Christians to come and bring healing?

I need some prayers everyone. Please pray for what im going through.

Consecration: How to be a radical

Anyone can become a radical for God. Just as John the Baptist of the wilderness like is. Or a Nazarite would.

The way to be a radical is through the consecration. By studying the nazarite vow and Messianic Judaism of Hebraic Roots, taking implements of each and incorporate it into your own Christian walk. Also take some implements of YWAM core ethics and IHOP-KC’s FITN lifestyle.

It’s called consecration. Instead of taking 1 foot in the world, and 1 foot in Jesus. Life is hard, depressing, and stressful. But life is EASY and Healthy and Happy, if both feet are devout to Jesus. Yes I know exactly how it feels, because we live in the worldly era, the age of Man. Secular concepts surrounds us in its entirety. But the best way to commit to God in being a radical, first spark the fire, be aware of the holy spirit, and grasp it. Worship.

To be continued…

The Umbrella

I had a conversation with a brother. About how to become a radical, and the steps of getting there through consecration. And from my own experience, I believe it should at least take a week of consecration. He goes on to reply that there is no timeline for Christ. Of course, I agree, with that said. I said,
“It could even take a day to spark that fire. But the week of consecration is more than enough to get initialized as being commenced into radical Christian lifestyle. Taking implements of nazarite vow & messianic Judaism. Staying faithful, committed, fast, worship, pray, study, read, serve, meditate, spirit, commune, fellowships. To really understand what it means to be a radical, test yourself for a week of consecration to get deeper into Him, through this week as a challenge of your faith in intercession.”

He goes on to say:

“What you think and what God thinks are two different things. You can be on fire for God, but that doesn’t mean you a “radical Christian” or as I would say faithful Christian. God can change a person’s heart faster than you and I can but commitment and building a faithful relationship with God takes time, trust, forgiveness, love, prayer, understanding, reading the word, and loyalty. That is even shown in the bible. The followers of Jesus didn’t have that type of relationship with him when he was alive. Even one of them betrayed him with a kiss. It was not until he died, walked out of the tomb, and went up to heaven, that they were the faithful Christians.”

John 16:7
But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.

The spirit of Truth is Holy Spirit.

In my response to this.
A: “I believe for what you are saying is true. So I can only say in response with the verses from Jesus that say, ‘If I do not go, then the comforter will not come. But if I do go, then the comforter will come.’ The comforter here is the holy spirit. The people could not sustain a faithful relationship because the advocate wasn’t there. It only came after Jesus left. The thing about the holy spirit, is that of substance of God, it comes to make you aware of your sins and committing of sins, it comes inside and convicts you.

During the time of when the disciples was with Jesus alive. They didn’t have the holy spirit with them, but they were being trained in the umbrella in the mind, eyes, strength, and heart. These were the predecessors of the first initial stages to get into the next facets where I explain in earlier blogs for Children’s ministry ( and phase fiver ( And as explained in phase5, to get there, is the first trigger stage must be from stage 1 through 4, which starts at flesh, heart, soul, mind, etc.

In a way it is as if Jesus is a shogun, and the disciples were shaolin monks. The discipleship training was a shinobi temple. The bible is the hidden samurai scrolls. And the mission is the battlefield that we are called as ninjas to fight in stealth.

Maybe that’s why it makes sense to stay quiet, meek, humble, strong, patient, just as the ninja do.

This whole thing about the phasefiver, the point is training. And this whole discipleship training, is the umbrella to become God’s weapon for war. And the war is spiritual warfare.

Let me include this part of the message too. Watch at @40:00

Oppression/ Not Image.

Discussion: Judge/observe/analyze is it the same/wrong?


As it says in the bible to not judge others. Only God can be the one to judge.

But earlier, a fellow Christian told me that it’s okay to judge others if it needs be?

I’m confused.

And what about observing and analyzing, are they similar to judging and wrong?

Because I try hard not to judge, as I have been rebuked for 3yrs and trained to not judge by one of my closest friends. Yet I am a strong observer, I stay quiet a lot of the time and observe everything in perspective, and yet before I go ahead and jump the gun, I like to meditate/reflect upon it, for I may be too hasty to think /run on instincts, tells myself to be wiser. But at the same time it is injustice for me when people misunderstand my actions/behavior, without knowing the true intent.



Matthew 18:21-35


The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accountswith his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[b] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Messianic Judaism explained

Yes as it is said in scripture that once Christ is born, there will be no more gentiles nor Jews, but everyone is one in the same and together unified as God’s people.

Yes Messianic Judaism, is Christian Jews.
But it does not mean to create division amongst others as believers.

If that were so, then why not question the other denominations and principals of ethics on Christian Protestant sects like Episcopalians, Methodists, Lutherans, Baptists, Reformed Presbyterians, Calvinism, Non-Denominationals, Charismatics, Christian Anarchists, Icsthus, Chi-Rhos, Renewalists, Seventh Day Adventists?

Messianic Judaism is there not to create division, but to cultivate the roots and history of the predecessors of the first Christians. To persevere the Hebraic culture of the raw organics of what it meant to be a Christian when Christ existed in those times. It is a way to restore true faith, and I believe and support the Messianic Jews for doing so.

On Tues 3/26/2013.

I had the opportunity to meet a group of Messianic Jews that came into the Northern VA House of Prayer to celebrate the Passover.

The entire worship was in Hebrew language, it was wonderful. It was as if I was there in the old days, through fully understanding the true walks of the early Christians and not what it is right now; strained & mainstream fabricated.