i had a conversation with a friend about a matter about why do i care so much what people think about me. when thats not really it at all. its all misunderstood.
the conversation started off like so:
a: hey here is my new blog, check it out.
t: why do u want me to check it out all of a sudden?
a: why do u think that its “all of a sudden”?
t: why do u want me to read ur blog?
a: because u told me that u enjoy reading people’s blogs. i clearly remember u telling me that you did. and if u have a blog too, i would love to read it too!!
t: oh okay. well ive just been busy lately. but i write alot in facebook notes.
a: i dont have facebook. i deleted it.
t: didnt u delete it because u were rebuked by j?
a: well not just because of j, but also the reason i got judged only from my status & media. people dont take the time to get to know me personally and would rather study me on facebook instead. so i deleted it. felt that the best way to really get to kno each other is being more personable.
t: ok. heres what i dont get, why do u have a hard time being understood by others?
a: its not that at all man. i mean wouldnt u hate it if people think something about u but never really asked u about it and then just leaving u feel so misunderstood because they dont kno ur true intent?
t: well im not like that. i dont care what people think about me. i dont care if i am even misunderstood. perhaps u just need to analyze yourself more.
a: bro. this isnt about image or lack of insecurity, or getting self conscious, or reputation, or caring about what people think of me. this is about injustice to relationships. its morally and ethically wrong when a person is never fully understood. relationships arent meant to be studied like going to a shrink psychology. its about inter-relations, feeding each other, understanding both. i care because im a justice person. if im being misunderstood, i speak about it. if i see a kid being bullied, i stand with him. if i see someone being mistreated, i stand up for them. thats just who i am. and i dont need to analyze myself, ive done enough of that and i come into a rabbit hole of too many self vain inquiries. but when christ is in the picture i kno who i am. just understand this, God has designed everyone differently individually. some dont care and some do care. dont think of it as a disease or negative insecurity. people are just expressive and some people are quiet observed thinkers.
i really think its bc u dont kno me that well and ur really trying to figure me out. but look at my bros jh and py they kno who i am and we’ve known each other for a long time and they arent judging me or trying to figure me out bc they kno that this is who i am and it is not on the intent to seek attention. ive always been like this since i was little.
t: well i hope u find your place my friend.
A: thanks bro. In due time with Christ being the center.
T: lets get together sometime when im free
A: mos def. lez do it!