I’m pretty candid, because I know who I am now. I found my identity through Christ. Which is why I am not self conscious, insecure, nor do I care what people think about me, I don’t care if I get judged, afraid, embarrassed, or ashamed. I’m pretty open with who I am, and I am honest. Because when you get to know Jesus, I feel so FREE, like I’ve been set free. Makes sense why I am so self assured within myself and confident in my ability and myself. (and it is not arrogance or over-zealous/over-confidence, just truth) the truth will set you free.
And here’s what I come to realize about the ENEMY.
The enemy is the one who will try to deceive your heart, come in to doubt you, trick your mind and heart with lies and emotional high. The enemy is the one who will make you think you are not good enough, will make you intimidated/shy/stage fright. The enemy uses your closes friends, family members, friends, people that will try to hurt you through their own opinions.
What does it say in Matthew? I read that it was one of his disciples telling Jesus of his discernment, yet Jesus told him “Get behind me satan!” that’s exactly what was going on. Satan was tricking his disciples in that rebukement. The rebuking was not of His lips but of Satan’s deception.
And here is what I come to find out through this journey.
If we are doing so well, and we then decide to commit sin because we want to.
We start off being this so confident outgoing socially honest person, and then the next day you meet us we aren’t like that at all. We end up being this quiet, reserved, keeps to ourselves, anti-social introvert or shy. That’s what I’ve been experiencing back and forth. People ask me bunch of questions why one day I’m so extraverted, and then the next day I’m introverted. Now it makes sense. Because when I sin, it opens an invitation for satan to come in deceive my heart and creates this negative outcry inside my vessel filled with disgust, the conviction of the advocate thus consummates my mentality and then I feel like I do not want to reach out to anyone socially because I feel like a disgusting virus that should not be in any social gatherings. I am a sinner. But then when you confess your sins, then you have this clean slate again, with peace comforting your heart that everything is alright, and then you feel like you’re free again. Which is why i have days where I feel so open and honest again with myself! Haha.
Anyways I am at the point where I don’t think I’ve committed any sins right now. Although some say that is impossible as we are all sinners, Yes I do believe so. But I cant even recall any sins and I know it is a sin to not be aware that you’re sinning. So that probably is a sin! So in a way I am still a sinner, yet I’m just saying this because I feel free because the enemy is not here to bring me down. I hope that this can last for more than a week. I’ve been having soooo many negative thoughts lately and feeling a dark presence in my home.
Just gotta keep consecrating bro.