Monthly Archives: May 2013

the asian mentality vs me

i dont think i like fob asians. just because of one thing alone: their mentality vs my mentality. 

and it’s the culture differences thats to blame.

fobs vs americanized asians are 2 completely different people i have noticed.

there are asians who were born in america or immigrated here at young age but choose to go more towards fobville because it is their comfort level, to be around something that they are familiar with; such as culture. these are what i call the close minded or sheltered beings. 

and then there are asians who were born here in america or immigrated here at young age, but do not care so much about their culture to be put on a pedastal, they just acknowledge it and accept it and care more about the other aspects of other cultures. these are what i call the open minded individuals.

i dont speak a lick of korean, nor do i understand it. i know how to only read and write. period.

but the thing that only bothers me in the korean accustom, is that just because im one single ethnicity doesnt mean i have to live by only the justification standards of my ethnicity. thats like im being put into a box. so if im korean, i have to eat korean food, hang out with korean people only, date korean girls, marry korean women, watch and listen to korean media, have only korean friends and drive a korean car with korean clothes on and go to a korean church???!!! are you kidding me? that sounds insane!

how am i gonna learn anything new about myself and experiences? you gotta be open minded. 

forgive the world for society is so focused on the appearance. 

and i know i look korean as my image, yet i do not even think of myself as korean. i just see myself as a person. 

anyways i would never date a girl with a fob mentality ever. 
and i would never marry a girl with a fob mentality too. 
i would never raise my kids with that mentality either.
i would never attend a school or church that has that mentality too. 
nor have a group of friends with that. 

the fob mentality is UNHEALTHY.


new job

so i started working at a new vegan restaurant. 

prep cook.

never felt so busy in my life.

but its been good.

im now a few months in my vegan diet. 

i feel great. but been having strange nightmares that im eating meat and fish. and the cows and fish say EAT ME EAT ME

just last night, i had a dream i was eating chicken, it was weird. i woke up like WHEW thank God that was just a dream.

just been working out lately, 2 months in.

now i need to stop eating complex carbs. like pasta and rice and bread. no more that stuff is making me fat. i need to lost weight pronto. gonna try to lose weight by july.

been running lately. 3 hrs of cardio. 30 min hike/power walk. 30 min run. 30 min bboy cardio. 30 min footwork cardio. 30 min bike. 30 min skateboard. 

running never felt so good, but just got a whole lot harder. 

trying to get six pack abs by july. before big break.

goal as of now: get abs. thats all i want. need to erase this belly fat. 
and lose weight in my neck, jaw, and face. got too fat lately. 

mon, wed, fri: all ive been doing is just arms, biceps, triceps, shoulders, necks, forearms, chest, incline, wings/lats.

tues, thurs: stretch, cardio, abs.
sat: legs
sun: rest.

from may to jul.

then from jul to aug: include parkour/bboy conditioning

by aug: enter competitions.

this is bboy training competitions. 



alot of uneducated minority races dislike caucasians. 

because it started out with institutionalism. the europeans (namely: the british/english) created the institutionalism theory. which brought it over to govern over the natives. 

now im pretty much against institutionalism. the whole project is stupid. it only perseveres power. 

even college is geared towards institutionalism. degrees are geared towards institutionalized careers. you dont really get to do what you wanna do in life, just governed and manipulated under control by the institution. 

college is a waste of time. unless you wanna be a doctor or a lawyer, then by all means go to school!

but you dont need to run a business, to get a business degree.
or be a pastor, to go to seminary school.
etc. etc.

for example my dad never finished college, but he was able to run his own business, and made $10k per week. mortgage and real estate for over 40yrs. 

sometimes i wonder why am i in school in the first place, im studying nutrtiion bs. 
and i know for certain that i wont be working as a dietitian in a clinic/hospital. 
nor am i even interested in an internship.

all i just want is that stupid initials next to my name just so i can prove to myself i actually accomplished something for once. 

man i really hate school though. just sitting here in school, listening and taking notes, studying for the exams when i know all the stuff im doing is not going to apply in my life nor in real life situations. its a catch 22.

all i really wanna do in life is just start my own business in Vegan Personal Trainer.
and then move to montana and serve YWAM & IHOPKC. 



God showed me my calling: to be a leader: a Trainer

So I stumbled upon my calling what God wants me to become. A Leader for His people.

I guess a calling happens when you stop caring and you become content with being a child of God, that now God has decided to show me what my calling is, I had an instant revelation a couple weeks ago at my small group. Wow.


And I know exactly what it takes to be a leader and what it means to be a leader and how to be a leader.
Through the Ten Years discovering myself more and more through my spiritual journey and my own life, realizing my identity even more clearer, I know my flaws and strengths. And the last 7yrs, ive just been focused on training. I’m very passionate about training, it’s just my whole philosophical approach to my life in this world, it’s what motivates me to be better in life.

I’ve realized that even the flaws, weaknesses, mistakes, accidents, regrets are all a part of who you are. And I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, but I’ve learned that I don’t regret any of them anymore, I’m at the point where I don’t care, and through this new perspective, I feel FREE because everything makes sense in my life now.

But here’s the problem I am facing with: EXPECTATION SUFFERING.

I found out just recently that I am a fast learner. And it is because the science is to pay attention fully and not stress about it, to keep persevering through the thick and thin…even when times do get tough.

Just looking back in my life, from highschool to now, reflecting upon the memories of my entire young life to young adult development, its been a journey! It made me realize that I have high leadership qualities & skills.

But the problem I’m facing is that I am AFRAID of COMMITMENT.

It’s because I know in order to be a leader, there’s a great price to pay for it: SACRIFICE on a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY role for others. See the thing is, I love where my life is going right now, so easy going and smooth as butter, everything is flowing my way on the highway. Feels good. Everything is coming together so well and I don’t even have to try that much anymore.

But at the same time, its making me feel lukewarm and kinda bored with life because the only concern im fulfilling is my own life….which is pretty vain. It’s like self glory, it’s so stupid and pointless. I’m not really serving a purpose.

As a justice person, if I see people who need help, someone to stand up for, someone who needs some encouragement, I am there! I will always try to help to the best of my knowledge.

I’m a motivator. (genetics from Dad). To be more specific: I’m a trainer!
I keep getting this prophetic dream and vision that I’ve entered God’s throne, kneeling on one knee, holding my giant sword, and being anointed by God. Abba Father says “you are my son of royalty, you are my anointed prince, you are my knight, you are born to be a leader  to lead my people, go set forth and train my people”. Then I see myself prepping his people for battle, putting their armor on, training them for battle, supplying their swords and weaponry, putting them on their horse. Sharpening our swords, and getting ready to fight in the battle of chaos against the demons and the dark evil that invade this land. Time to fight!

I really got into training through Bboying mostly (2006). It sorta kicked the inspiration to take training seriously. To be a better bboy for upcoming competitions, I had to concentrate on the little elements that comprised for better athletic performance which I eventually developed my own fitness program that focuses on these elements: which is the 7 elements. These 7 elements is what I focus on in everything in life approaching the world.
Which is the mind, body, spirit, emotions, character, society, & God.

From this, it entered not only just bboying, but as well as other artforms like rap & painting. And then entered into other sciences, and even business professionalism, as well as ministry organization.

The 7 elements is relevant with everything that consists procession and logistics.

Right now, I am now employed, grateful in appreciation to God. Thank you so much Abba Father.
I created a master plan, in order for me to teach this important program that could definitely help people become their own leader. I needed some funds. So I made a plan to introduce it as a fitness program through Bboying, as a certified vegan personal trainer & plant based dietitian.

In order for me to get those certifications to get my own business to launch, I need funds. So that’s why I got a job for 2 reasons:
1. To raise funds for ihop & ywam (to my calculations 2yrs working to make $15k = $5k ihop + $10k ywam).
2. To raise funds for certifications ($500 cpt & $1k for vegan nutritionist)

Then once that’s all over. Go to IHOP finish 6month internship to become full time staff as CPT & Bboy Instructor through implementing my vegan fitness 7 elements business as not only just marketplace but ministry.
serve ihop for a while, and when it’s time go serve at ywam with leftover funds.
looking towards ywam Montana edts & live on base as full time missionary.

Also during those 2yrs, I’ll be returning back to school to finish my undergrad/grad to be a Vegan RD.
as a back up plan and because working at a vegan restaurant as a cashier/prep cook is not that great for the long run. I have more of a passion to focus on product development if I were to work for a vegan company. I get a lot of thoughts,



So My friend Sarah gave me prophetic words that There are 2 kinds of leaders:  a Nurturer and a Motivator. I am definitely not a Nurturer. A Nurturer is someone who tries to give growth and encouragement of developmental focus on individualization. Whereas a Motivator gathers a large group of people and engages them through motivational speeches or trains them as a whole. And that’s me.

So I am just afraid to step up to be the leader because of the high expectation to have an immense amount of stress burdening on my shoulders. Always having to be responsible of other people’s lives. And I wont have a life of my own then. And afraid I might just get really drained and stressed out.

I went to men’s small group and the small group leader mentioned a lot of bible verses that definitely defined me to the exact.

I was blown away, but Im like Jonah and moses. Im just afraid.

There are so many opportunities coming at my way to take the position to be a leader, and so many people at small group have told me after getting to know me that I am a leader and I have leadership qualities.

I just try to not acknowledge it and lie about it “nah man im a spectator, observer”.



But I know exactly what it means to be a leader.
It means to be a shepherd. To care for people. To care for the sheep.

You cant discourage a fellow if he done wrong, and you cant dwell on a mistake that happened for too long. Because why? It’s obvious and that’s negative, it’s not helpful. Tough love is not healthy. I live with a asshole dad at home, who chooses to discourage and negative comments. But I see that as reverse psychology in showing love. But still it’s pretty unhealthy for motivational growth development, and you have to be a smart mofo in order to truly understand why they are doing that.

In order to be a leader, you have to be VERY understanding and at the same time be positively helpful.

The people who discourage you in negative manner as a motivational tool just means they never had a positive leader that showed them the right way in example. Because in order to be a leader, you need to have been inspired by a lead example.

For example: my dad never had a great father figure to help show him the way to be a positive leader.
Therefore psychologically he uses his motivation as assholic as it can get. Because it is his self pride that is the trigger point for his type of “leadership act”

And my example: Jesus Christ is my example, his character portrays how to be a right positive healthy leader. A Teacher of love. Therefore I’ve learned how to be a positive leader in an encouraging way. Because the science is that jesus’ act of love, the law of love is the trigger point for this type of leadership act as positive it can be.



And why do I love the essence of training? Because what doesn’t kill you only makes you STRONGER!

I love hard work and challenges, sure it is tough. But man after you accomplish it, you feel so good in the end, like I DID IT!

The core of man’s heart is new experiences. So I love the hard stuff in life, it challenges my spirit to see how willing I am and tests my strength: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

And I don’t do it for a prize or money or fame or recognition. I don’t care about any of that, I just do it for myself. I love breaking a sweat, and I love feeling pain, it just makes me feel so alive.


And feeling lukewarm is boring! Its just sparks a fire passion inside my heart to fight for people.

So it brings to question how long should I be lukewarm? Is it time to be a leader?

In order for me to really gain that leader edge, I need to study the word more in depth. And my relationship with God well….im relying a lot on myself lately and its deadening my soul.

In order for me to get that edge, I need that rock. So I need to rely on Him more and read the word more.

God has sent me 2 new prophetic dreams.
1. God showed me scriptures saying you need to study my word son.
2. I’ve come to a cross praying, and then the cross started to pull me to the clouds of heaven, but I was afraid so I jump away to come back to earth.


I now know why God gave me a job now. Because it’s part of my spiritual training as a leader and personal relationship. To work as a way to raise funds on my own, through that it gives a sense of hard work ethic, what I worked for I earned to get to my goal.

And to engage more into my work with my fellow co-workers, because I see that my team doesn’t have what it takes to be the right positive leader for healthy working relationships. And I feel that I’m the only one capable of it to teach them properly. All my co-workers I can see are stressing out too much, relying on negativity too much, and are forgetting to love one another. Even the supervisors are fueled by their title, instead of what it means to be a leader: “care”.

Even during our breaks, co-workers are scattered off, instead of coming together in unity. 

I now know why I was given this job in the first place, the picture is clearer now. 
To test my leadership skills to the best of my knowledge and ability, inspired by the authority of Christ. To show people how to love. To show that in order for relationships to work whether it be in business, family, friends, or even organizations, there needs to be a positive healthy light. and that can only be fueled by the rock which is the wisdom of God. 


It’s been really interesting though, my general manager tells me that I’ve impressed her this entire couple of weeks, by being the first one to memorize the menu so accurately in just a couple of days and picking up things quickly as a fast learner, fast paced, and hard worker, as if this wasnt my first time working in a restaurant.  


And in my previous job I was a supervisor, supervising 70 children and training 3 employees. And the previous job before that was an asst manager and instructor.  So it must mean I have what it takes to be a leader? Since ive also been a freelance artist getting fame on my own in the past in 2003, and starting my own business?

So wish me luck

What kinda vegan am i? & Adulterators

What kinda vegan am i?

As a “Christian Vegan Nomadic Wandering Spirit Traveler Bboy Artist Missionary Freegan Urban-Farmer Eco-Villager Trainer”

Being a Vegan in Modern Times, must mean to not use any animal products nor consume.

And I think that is possible to live a lifestyle, it’s healthy and positive. Especially considering the fact that we live in modern times where the only way to live as a vegan, we need to rely on technology today where it helps to encompass and carry out that vegan lifestyle.

Although if we did not have the resources and modern technology, say for instance if you were surviving alone in the wild. What could you possibly eat? Well animals must be the main source of protein, where on earth would you get tofu, or legumes, rice, etc.? It will take months to grow/harvest/cook. And you simply couldn’t possibly rely on edible plants as the only source of protein to sustain a healthy lifestyle.

Therefore I think only in this nature it is evidentially permissible. Because God gave man permission to kill animals to eat for food. As it says in the bible, although, what I truly believe from this context.
I think God gave permission to eat animals for man’s survival. B/c back in the early bible days, modern technology wasn’t as advanced as what we have today, therefore there was no way to eat tempeh or tofu or any vital vegan forms of protein.

Now if you live as destitute in the wild, surviving alone. Then yes eating animals Is okay.
As long as you thank and give a prayer to the animals you hunted after. Sending the condolences for God’s creation.

But the problem with modern society today is that man is so accustomed to eating animals because of the outpour of media brainwashing millions through tv/media/radio/fast food restaurants/pop culture. and really, it’s adulterating animals as man’s only source of consumption, when we’re taking advantage of God’s creations for our own selfish pleasures.

Yes I believe that everyone is designed biologically different, and that our gastrocentral system and diets are designed to each his own. Vegan diets may not work suitably for everyone. Although at the same time I believe diets can fluctuate and reprimanded through much discipline and focus on customization overtime. All it takes is consistency, patience, and time. Practice makes perfect.

And at the same time I also believe it’s not healthy mentality to focus on animals as the only source of protein or fashioned material products (make-up, coat jackets, clothing, etc.). Because its fricking 2013! If you live in the year 2013+ and in a modern society with vast library of knowledge/resources/technology, then you don’t need to rely on killing animals for your own self consumption/consumerism. It’s not healthy mentality nor physicality.

And that’s what man is now today. We have become adulterators in everything.

Men adulterate women having lustful images.
People adulterate animals to eat.
Society adulterates facebook.
Everyone adulterates judgmental perception.
People adulterates credentials.
Women adulterates fashion into scandalous promiscuous clothing.
Industries adulterates products into over-consumerism.
Churches and Schools have now become into adulterated business profits.
Pastors have now become adulterated as business-men.
Christianity has now become adulterated into denominational principals.
The Bible has now become adulterated into many bible translation copies.
Ministries have now become adulterated into small businesses.
Christians have now adulterated their walks to rely more on Books and Speakers, rather than personal time in prayer and the word.

Really. What Happened to this world we live in?

Let us go back to not being blank canvas and not over-rely on something. Organic Raw Pure Natural.


Now for me.
I do not like to eat meat nor use any animal products.
After self educating myself in veganism. Everytime I see meat on a plate, I cringe. I get this “image” of an animal being slaughtered and other gutsy gory types of things I don’t like to see when eating. So the whole time I am a vegan. But when it’s training day for a sports performance competition, I have to go raw vegan. And When I am going to a family dinner, I’m forced to eat meat just for their “tradition”. So I do, but honestly I hold my breath and eat.

My family knows I am a vegan, but it’s a big disappointment in our tradition if I don’t consume the meat they cook for on special occasions.

And that is the only time I will eat meat, which only happens annually, ONCE a year.

Last resort to eat meat: if I was surviving alone in the wild. 

Vegan is possible

Been on this vegan/raw vegan diet these last 3 weeks. I feel great.

This is the best diet plan for reaching PEAK ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE!

Especially since I’m a Bboy and trying to gear towards personal training. 

I only went into it for my own health and athletic performance. But now after self educating myself upon all these books, videos, articles, internet research. 
I feel so disgusted for being a human being. 

Wow. I advise you everyone to watch the documentary below. 

No wonder why people are so desensitized towards eating meat/ fashioning animal products. 
is because they dont know what these animals go through, the suffering.
Watch and you will understand the animals pain and suffering. 

It’s just unethical and injustice! 

Carnivores have this misconception where do we (vegans) get our protein?
That’s the dumbest thing i ever heard. There’s protein in EVERYTHING!
It’s a natural compound element that is needed as a basic essential component, in order for molecules to hold together, their needs to be glucose and protein. 
That’s how everything comes together. If there was no protein in these molecules in an object, then it would just float in the air like a dust particle. 

And it’s the same equivalency or even more in comparison to meats vs plant based diet.
for example. a piece of steak’s contents is like 60% water, 10% fat, 30% protein.
a piece of tofu’s contents is 20% water, 80% protein. Why? Because vegan protein is concentrated. 
1 serving: a piece of t-bone steak 16oz = 27g protein.
1 serving: a piece of seitan = 38g protein.

Which one would you eat after a work out? 

I would not recommend Soy as the best protein source for vegans, because soy protein is mechanically processed. I would suggest something like Seitan, Beans, Rice, Barley, Wheat, Seeds, Hemp, and Greens. 

It motivates me even more to prove to you ignorant carnivores that it’s possible to be a fit person in good shape and NOT be anorexic skinny and be able to WIN athletic competitions on a PLANT BASED DIET.