Reasons why I left crossover community church:
Prayed to God, He said, “Stay at New Song Church. There is no reason to go backwards, embark your life in the new journey and move forward.”
Things I did not like while attending at XO:
-Lots of misunderstanding. Church Members judging me, automatic jumping to conclusions without even confronting to talk to me about it and going along the way to what they assume about me.
-Institutionalized System. Beliefs & perspectives were manipulated under a man-knowledge authority.
-There is no such thing as a brother to sister in Christ, genders are segregated, created sexual tension, and lots of over-analyzing of body language in misrepresented objective delivery communication or misunderstandings.
-The Korean mentality VS American mentality I did not enjoy.
Frequent misunderstandings due to different perspectives, etiquette, traditions, cultural communications, and upbringings.
-There was never a prayer movement nor spirit, or a worship & renewal Christianity. The ministry was facilitated on the extreme construct of absolute just the theology itself.
-People exist in the mind too much, no love, behavior needed standards and guidelines in order to feel comfortable, very selfish people. and there were many insecure people there that escalated drama, that I just happen to be invited because its coincidental. Ever heard of being at the wrong place & time?
-The head pastor & associate pastor did not believe in healing, prophets, visions, prophetics.
-Lukewarm Christians. Content with where everything in life is.
-Most of the believers there believed that praying was more of a self-meditating thing rather than what it should have been to TALK to God.
-People of little faith there & may in the supernatural.
-Other things I really did not like, trying to be a good friend as I could be, but some of the females there who I only viewed them just as sisters, over-analyzed my friendliness for hitting on them, which made the friendship turn BAD bc they made an assumption about me WITHOUT trying to talk about it.
-I also very much disliked how married women were trying to flirt with me or try to get my attention when I tried my every might to ignore and avoid them at all costs. Because they’re husbands were actually my good friends & def did not want to ever ruin our friendship I thought highly of.
-too much resentment going on there, when I’ve already asked forgiveness from Jesus, and there’s just no need to bring it up again.
-I did not really like the associate pastor. I think it was because of his views on life that were very black & white.
-most of the members & including the pastor’s wife were concerned about me, bc i’ve mentioned that I’ve been having dreams, visions, prophetics, supernatural, encounterances with the Lord. Sending me condescending prayers & looking at me as if I came back from the psychiatric ward.
-Being rebuked several times and also being rebuked in public during a sermon message!
I’ve attended this church for over 7yrs. I found my calling most recently, dug deep into seeking Abba in my own spare time, and during this time, I was attending two churches back and forth. The new church & the old church. During the development and growth in my own walk, through the spiritual teachings of YWAM, Bethel, & mostly IHOP-KC, I left a strange impression on CrossOver Church. Just the look on their eyes, they all thought I was crazy. During worship, I am the only one singing with all my heart and dancing…the holy spirit is with me strongly. They all stare at me and think I’m crazy, or are they just insecure?
Where Do I stand now in my beliefs?:
-If you feel the spirit, there is no reason to hold it in. Let it out. Bc the spirit is calling you out.
-I don’t believe in institutionalism system.
I believe in Organic Christianity like the Moravian Culture, or House of Prayer Movement, or Christian Renewalists.
-I don’t believe that ministry should lean on one absolute of the bible. But ALL 5 mediums in balance: spirit, pray, word, fellowship, soak/meditation.
-I DO BELIEVE in the supernatural, the prophetics, healing, prophets, dreams, & visions. Just because the bible is finished, doesn’t mean that there are no more prophets. Sure there is a vast difference though between a Prophet vs a prophet. Prophets with a capital P, are prophets that heard the audible command directive from God, which paved the way and bible establishment. prophets with lowercase p, are people who were given the gift to prophesy. There is a scripture to back it up. I need to find it.
Why? Because God is a God of Hope, Healing, Justice, and Love.
-I am a fire radical Christian, always hungry for more. Never lukewarm. I seek for more. Insatiable drive. Because I’m a justice person. I hate seeing suffering, pain, I will not just stand back and let people suffer. There’s something deep down in my heart to fight for them.
But on the real. This is how I feel. Just because I am apart of a new church, doesnt mean I’m going to stay forever. Only God knows when I will stay here and I may very well leave the next day just like that. What’s funny is that if i do happen to leave, the church automatically objectifies me as a “traitor”. & all of a sudden, the close bond and love we shared is gone and they treat me as a stranger. So then whatever happened to all those time we shared in the past….was it only real if i only stayed as a member of the church establishment? or is it the insecurity of different views in ministry? i always thought, once a friend, always a friend. Just as Jesus has never left you. He was always a friend. Even if i had diff views/interests.
Just dont acknowledge me as someone you can love only if my presence is recognized as a consistent member. Acknowledge me as a friend. I am and have always been a nomadic free-spirited wanderer. I was not born to stay at one place for too long, I was born to travel.