How to be a shepherd.
By: Albert Aram Kim
October 3, 2013
It is not from how smart or intelligent you are, because if you approach leadership like that, it is insecure leadership trait. Because the person will be relying on the power of self-knowledge. And when you rely on the knowledge, then you also ultimately exist within the mind. And when you let that happen, you also let narcissism play a new role and what puffs up the mind,
For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.
1 Cor 3:18
Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.
also arrogance clouds the vision & blind eyes cannot see.
What does it mean to be a shepherd? It means to be a Leader, Lead His people.
And what does it mean to be a leader? it means to care about people.
Being a leader is not about a high ranking position, or a title, or status. It only looks that way as a worldly image, but it’s deeper than this.
Being a leader is not about how skillful he/she is, it’s not about how wealthy they are, or how successful they are, or how many PhD’s they have, or how spectacular their resume is. Actually that all came AFTER they kept trudging on into leadership. God does not promise wealth, fame, success, etc. Leadership is actually a very stressful job, so people don’t instantly become rich, or have a genie grant them *poof* college degrees, outstanding references all of a sudden. In fact, it took YEARS and YEARS of hard work and PERSEVERANCE to endure all the harsh struggles to get there.
Being a leader is to LOVE people, because you have a BIG HEART for them.
Like it really hits your soul in the bottom of your heart, it stirs a burning fire inside the pit of your stomach, it creates agony for you because you HATE to see people suffer and struggle, and you just want to help them because it’s your HEART that speaks to you.
The HOLY SPIRIT & JESUS does not communicate with our minds, skill, resume, credentials, etc. They speak to our HEARTS. Our hearts is the communication platform that receives His words. However our minds is only a tool, and should be only used as a tool to help utilize and assess any situation. But the HEART is the MAIN CPU.
THROUGH THE FRUITS:
And one thing I’ve learned through out the years studying and learning in my own walk in how to be a leader is you have to have the FRUITS of the Spirit! As it says in
In order to train people up, build each other up, teach them, rebuke them, encourage them. IS NOT THROUGH QUARRELS like provoking arguments, condescending, to intend contradiction, and definitely not to approach people in a worldly concept such as TOUGH LOVE.
2 Tim 2:23-24
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Because what I’ve learned growing into Him, you gotta kind of reflect upon it. WOULD JESUS treat a child in tough love?
When it says:
When Jesus asks Simon to feed the lamb and feed the sheep.
You have to identify the context, why are there two differences there between feeding the sheep and feeding the lamb?
Identification #1: Feeding the Lamb:
Because, Feeding the lamb, means to feed the young believers who are not young by age, but are immature in spirit, to learn more of what it means to be a shepherd. The lamb cannot eat solid food, the lamb needs milk. It needs to be cared for, nurtured. You don’t whip a lamb or shake it to it’s hooves, because in spirit it is still in infancy, so the only way to train a lamb is to use the fruits of the spirit (which are KINDNESS, GENTLENESS, PEACE, GOODNESS, COMPASSION, LOVE, JOY, etc.)
You especially have to be gentle with them, because they are still in the infancy stages. So treating a lamb in a TOUGH LOVE concept is not only torturous for the soul, but can also definitely disrupt emotions and stunt&suffer spiritual growth.
Identification #2: Feeding the Sheep:
Now Feeding the sheep, is different from feeding milk to the lamb. Since the sheep are fully grown, they can be fed solid food. They don’t need to be nurtured, they are mature in spirit. That’s the thing about this, to really Identify people if they are sheep or lambs…is NOT by IMAGE, or Apppearance, or by status, or skill, or degrees, resume, money, fame, or even by AGE. It’s to identify their spirit.
How to Identify Mature Spirit:
So how do we identify if they are mature in spirit?
One easy obvious simple way to distinguish is through how they portray their character through the FRUITS of the spirit!
Do not confuse the fact of consistent “diligency” in the practice of their role in a church as a way to identify their mature spirit.
Do not be confused with the notion that if he/she rarely attends church or is not a part of a small group or does not persevere into their own quiet time devotional. Then he/she is immature lambs.
So we do not train lambs in a tough love approach. We approach them with Kindness & gentleness. The fruit of the spirit.
Does this make it okay for the mature sheep to use tough love too as an educational way? NO WAY! I think not!
Yes we may recognize that the tough love’s objective means well, but the way it’s being delivered and carried out in either a sarcastic or assertive tone is not only demeaning, disrespectful, condescending, contradicting, but it’s also the acts of the flesh. It’s DISCORD. Galatians 5:19 & 20. And this is actually a deception brainwashed by the enemy.
Plus Human beings were NOT created to respond to tough love positively.
We were automatically born to respond to positive things, that’s just how we are. because we are CHILDREN of God. Yes adults even too are children inside, because we all have a child inside of us. Does this mean we are childish? No. Being childish & being a child of God is two total different meanings. I can talk about this later in a different teaching, let’s stay on topic.
Do you think Jesus would treat you like that? Really try to close your eyes and visualize it. NO.
Jesus is Love, he is Kindness, he is Gentleness, he does not cause Discord, he is the truth. he is the light!
And see now I am starting to understand why people choose to approach people in a tough love manner for two reasons:
2.) they do not look to Jesus.
Jesus is the role model:
See looking to jesus is imperative
Because Jesus examplifies what it means to be a good shepherd. And when you just see Jesus, you know he is kindness, gentleness, joy, peace, love. He doesn’t need to be a fault-finder and keep pointing out your faults to build you up, he looks over your wrongs and chooses to approach you with embracing arms, and welcomes you as his guest.
1 Tim 2:5
For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
The Fault-finder role is a worldly approach, it reeks immaturity. There is no point to point the finger at someone, all that really does is provoke arguments & put people down and make people feel bad about themselves. What is a Fault-Finder?
see this link: http://ivillage.com/6-types-toxic-friends-and-how-you-can-deal-them/4-a-283671
6 types of toxic friends and how to deal with them
why are they fault finder?:
They are actually insecure and will find a way to control any conversation under their power, by manipulating your speech and twisting your words for their objective to undermine your intentions. Because they do not want to lose or be wrong in any discussion. It’s similar to being a bully.
You should read the entire article as this supports where I’m trying to get at, but I wanted to point out these key points by copying & pasting I have done so provided below:
Before facing Goliath, David had to deal with a critic, his own brother Eliab, who said:
“I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.” (1 Samuel 17:28, NIV)
David ignored this critic because what Eliab said was a lie. That’s a good lesson for us. Turning his attention back to Goliath
Dealing with Difficult People: Time to Flee
Fighting a bully is not always the right course of action. Later, King Saul turned into a bully and chased David throughout the country, because Saul was jealous of him.
David chose to flee. Saul was the rightfully appointed king, and David would not battle him. He told Saul:
“And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds, so my hand will not touch you.’ “(1 Samuel 24:12-13, NIV)
At times we must flee from a bully in the workplace, on the street, or in an abusive relationship. This is not cowardice. It’s wise to retreat when we are unable to protect ourselves. Trusting God to exact justice takes great faith, which David had. He knew when to act himself, and when to flee and turn the matter over to the Lord.
It’s YOUR FAULT: Tough Love’s scheme of lies by the enemy:
See the enemy is actually trying to deceive you. The enemy wants you to think that it’s your fault for reacting to it so defensively and to get so emotional, it’s your fault that you are responding like that, the enemy is laughing at you and calls you weak. The enemy says that if you respond back like that, you wont be as strong enough and tough enough to be the man of God you want to be. The enemy says that if you react like that, you lose and the enemy is winning.
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Being Spiritually Aware:
WOW! SEE how the enemy tries to twist your words, manipulates, and controls your thoughts. The enemy wants you to think that it’s YOUR FAULT you are acting like that.
BUT really it’s not.
That is why I HIGHLY STRONGLY DISAGREE with Tough Love. It is the WRONG WAY to go about or assess the lamb or even the sheep.
The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them.
Identifying the difference between people who choose Tough Love approach VS Shepherding:
2 Tim 4:2-5
preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
To ultimately be a shepherd is to look at yourself as 2 roles always.
1.) To Serve: To be of service to others.
For there is a quote I heard from ghandi: To lose yourself in service to others, you actually find yourself.
To help them no matter what, that’s our number one priority to help people.
Whether it be through prayer, or intercession.
2.) To look at yourself as a student.
Never try to look at yourself as a teacher, even though Jesus wants and calls you to be his teacher. You are called to be a teacher, but don’t let that “title” plague your mind. You must always look at yourself as a student, why?
Because it provokes meekness & humility.
Once you look at yourself as a teacher, you let the mind get puffed up with knowledge, and you become arrogant, narcissistic, prideful, & egotistical. You rely so much on the intelligence and education. And as the mind gets bigger and bigger with more information you prize upon, at the same time your heart hardens.
Why does the mind get bigger and the heart harden?
Because you forgot the most imperative thing in the walk:
to seek a personal intimate relationship with Jesus. And it is by using the heart, but how? Through prayer!
This is Why it’s better to look at yourself only as a student. Because there are always risks if you do think you are superior, which can cause arrogance & rebel against the main teacher: Jesus.
I forgot the verse. But it says in scripture. To not look at yourself as a high rabbi, but be a brother to other brothers. The only rabbi is Jesus.
Yes jesus has called us to TEACH, but to be looked as a title of a rabbi? No. Just only a shepherd.
There’s another quote I learned from:
“Always student, never master”
How to excel in studentry?:
How to be a better student? I learned from my math tutor (Gloria Huh, PhD), in order to really understand mathematic equations and memorize formulas, the best way is to teach it to a soundboard or tutor another colleague. What this does is through the practice of teaching what you learned will become a permanent memory embedded inside your comprehension. Yes this is known as teaching, but it’s known as the best learning method for yourself to excel in studentry.
Shepherd’s Main Ingredients:
So what are the main ingredients a shepherd needs?
To get Heart, it must already be in your DNA.
so if you are anything like me, a justice person, who hates seeing people suffer and struggle. Then you are called.
And if you do have heart, then you already want to HELP.
and if are so motivated to help, you also need to practice diligency, which will spout SERVANTHOOD.
But if you do not have love, then you cannot be a shepherd even if you have all the skills and calling. If you do not have COMPLETE LOVE. Then you will fail, fall, and not truly accomplish your leadership.
How do we get love?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”
To fully receive God’s love, is to love people. Whether they are an enemy or you still have resentment against them. For you are a FAKE BROTHER or SISTER, if you still did not forgive them, if you still have a grudge against them, if you still have RESENTMENT against them. You are a FAKE CHRISTIAN. Because it is so easy to accept our friends and be close to them, and yet it is so easy to avoid the ones who we cannot accept.
it’s very hard: think about it like this: Hitler was a Christian, but he is a racist too. We have to still be able to have a love for him, even it does hurt us so much.
You have to really confront them or ask for forgiveness from Jesus.
& once you fully know how to harness the spirit, then you also are able to see that the things people do that anger you or only just the hypnotism works of the enemy. Because all people are actually good people. They weren’t meant to do evil things. But people just do evil things because the enemy has consumed their hearts.
And after you start to see through the transparency, you’re able to understand them, and easily you are able to forgive them instantaneously.
as it says, Luke 23:34 Forgive them for they do not know what they do.
Pastor Rick Warren was on CNN interview, He had to forgive the person who sold him the gun to his mentally ill suicidal son. How would that make you feel? You have to really picture yourself in their shoes too. Can you forgive the person who killed your own blood? Warren tweeted: “Someone on the internet sold Matthew an unregistered gun. I pray he seeks God’s forgiveness. I forgive him.”
You receive God’s love through loving his people. How can a person say they love God if they’ve seen the face of their brothers yet do not love them, but they have not seen the face of God and say they love Him?
So what is the best way to know how to process through God’s love?
It is through the church.
Church is not a building. It is a group of believers that all come together to HAVE church. Church is the body of Christ, it is the bride of Christ to the bridegroom.
a church can be anything from a small group, to a house of prayer, to a ministry, to fellowship, to even having a quiet time devotional amongst friends.
The risks if you do not attend church:
If you do not attend church with your diligent spirit, then your seclusion will actually puff up your mind and harden your heart. You will be prone to over-analysis and judge people quickly to find fault in their things. This seclusion is actually a GPS navigation brainwash schematic by the enemy.
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
He wants you to be alone, Satan wants you to think that you are smarter than everyone or he wants you to be filled with selfish preoccupation with the notion that you feel that people misunderstand you so much, just like Misty Edwards states here: start @0:35:00
I highly recommend you to watch this entire video if you really want to understand what im trying to convey.
Why the process of church?:
Because by committing to the church in diligent spirit, you are also simultaneously putting your own pride to the side all for the sake to keep the peace between your neighbors to ultimately bring people closer together in HARMONY and direct the community to what the whole point of this is…..to seek Jesus as one.
Because really I’ve asked myself this when I too was going through the same problem (there was a time in my life where I opposed against churches that carried institutionalism system of manipulation control).
What’s more important? My pride or love?
Why do we worship God? He is worthy! But why is he worthy? Because He died for us. He is our God! But still why do we have to worship?
I really asked myself this. And in my own words my answer was because:
JESUS IS MEDICINE!
He is medicine for your mind, you do not need to see a psychologist.
He is medicine for your soul, you do not need to study a philosopher.
He is medicine for your heart, you do not need to rely on secular loves.
He is medicine for your body, you do not need to seek a hospital, He heals!
He is medicine for your spirit, you do not need to seek religion.
He is medicine for your emotions, he heals!
He is medicine for your peoples, he is medicine in love!
He is all we need, all we ever need, all we want, we choose, we need, we love, we seek!
This is why He is worthy!
Don’t ever forget about talking to Jesus:
Of course shepherding is easy. Because it is so easy to go on a mission, but we must not forget to seek Jesus in marriage of relationship.
Or then it is all bankruptcy.
1 Cor 13:1-7
Without including Jesus on our minds during the mission, it is not a mission anymore. It’s just all out of self works, vain/vanity, it is has turned into what you can do and if worst comes to worst, it may even turn you away from Him and rely on your own hands instead.
I went through years going through this journey of how to be a leader. I fell MANY MANY times, yes I’m a living testimony of what corrupted mind from arrogance and immaturity. But what I learned, is that, each time you fall, you get right back on your feet to walk with Him even more. Chase after Him! Do not be discouraged that a simple sin will get in the way.
Why do I write this?
Because I’m aware of how the world is immature. Every youtube facebook media I see is plagued with narcissism, arrogance, and immaturity. I’m disgusted by it, in fact I’ve lived a selfish & narcissist life. I hate it. I just cant live a life for myself anymore, when I see so many friends who need a friend in their life. The spirit hits me hard enough to ball out tears. That these people do not need to listen to the enemy anymore and give up. There is HOPE. And it is through JESUS. I now see.
Am I ready to be a shepherd? No. I honestly do not think so. However I am ready to be your friend. I can be your good friend, I will do whatever I can to help you keep your head up, encourage you. Why? Because Jesus is my best friend, and what he had taught me, I want to also be a friend to you.