understanding the journey of the spirit within is a hard thing to comprehend especially in the physical construct. no matter how hard we try to run away from God, it’s the spirit within that calls out to seek Him. I’ve been down this route one too many times, going back and forth in the agnostic & believer journey. it’s a weird process to register in your brain, but there is spirit here everywhere in the world and not just only in our walks or through church. God is leading you, He is magnetizing your heart and that’s what He wants. your heart is full of truth, you know it, i know it, everybody else knows it. our hearts are a manifested design of justice desire truth seeker. the agenda of the heart is fueled by the measure of your spirit within. the bible doesnt clarify any of this spirit understanding, because the Word was intended to be written for the flesh as we do live in the physical. we cannot see that we are actually spiritual beings, because the world clouds our vision like a blind mask. anyways. i am sure He will reveal this to you sooner or later, maybe 10 years from now, or even 1 year or 1 month.