Monthly Archives: February 2014

playing safe vs playing risk

 playing safe is risk but not being risky is safe. try not to be black and white about it just go with where you feel comfortable. 

although if you play it safe, you’ll never really know the potential of the area but at the same time you’ll finish it by staying within the lines. 

& if u play it risky, you’ll find new things and may open your eyes to new facets but at the same time too extremity of one thing will distract you from reaching the goal. 

just ask yourself whats more important to you? this isnt about which choice of route is better, its about you. 

both paths can change /teach you and make you who you are today.

Respecting the Perimeter

been watching these old biblical movies.
yes, its terrible acting. but thats not the point, the point is what these movies are depicting from the bible as true as it can be.

from watching these movies, Ruth, Esther, David.

I’ve learned that there is so much honor in how people talk to one another.
Etiquette, Mannerisms, Class, Respect.

Even if a group of men are sexually harrassing a woman, or if a man expresses his anger towards another, or even if a person has done wrong or ignorant arrogant, they say it in a respectful & polite tone. Supportive of protocol, principals. Everyone still treats one another in respect.
It’s interesting how the Hebrew language is the only language that has absolutely no profanity words. If they do want to say a curse word, they describe it in appropriate adjectives such as: whore monger, drunken fool, shameful, evil.

All this social cultural norm of honor being emphasized in community communication through the bible movies has shown me this can help stress maturity.

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when i was watching the Esther movie, it was interesting how Esther friendzoned Jesse….its because Jesse crossed the borderlines of honoring a woman for respecting the boundaries for a woman, even if the social chemistry was close, it’s easy to forget about the perimeter guidelines of respect when intimate friendship occurs.
That’s probably the reason why she was attracted to King Xerxes, because he upheld the code of conduct in honor. It made me realize that when you emphasize honor, it also makes you more mature. His status/power had nothing to do with it, it was his virtues that characterized his values.

when i was watching Ruth, it really heightened the value of honor 10 times. It taught me how to truly talk to strangers & your neighbors. People are so noble because of the moral grounds of honoring each other. It also taught me how a man should approach a woman. Kindness & Truth & Respecting boundaries. I mean like I always knew that before, but I didnt know the reason why, until I watched Ruth….light bulb*Ding!*Ohh Eureka!

I had a female friend who I really cared about cuz she was my homie. We were just friends, and i only liked her as a sister, nothing more, I was not interested in her more than that. And when I found out she was getting married to my other friend, I was really happy for her, and then after she got married & started to completely avoid me even if i just wanted to say hi, i was really stupid confused…like what did i do wrong?
We used to talk on the phone a lot before she was still single, and when i called again after she got married, she had told me to stop calling, i never really understood why and it kinda surprised me…it left me confused & misunderstood.
& it left me hurt for an entire year. until i started realizing soon after, that i was incredibly immature, and i couldnt differentiate the difference of honoring boundaries & intimate friendship.
it showed me just because your sister is your sister, like kin. doesnt give you the right to cross over the border lines of respect.
respect personal space, respecting conduct, respecting the individual.

for a long time i used to think that men and women shouldnt be segregated, cuz then the ideology of brothers and sisters wouldnt exist. i used to think how can a sister be called a “sister” if there is no man there to be a brother to her? both needs each other to co-exist what “brother” & “sister” defines right?
I soon disliked the fact especially in the DC region since its extremely politically conformist environment here, that if you approach a woman, the notion is automatically assumed to make courtship. even sitting near my friend’s wife gives off the notion of “uh-oh”. I’m harmless as a mouse, and i already know she belongs to my friend in marriage. Watch

what would we tell teens about getting married.
Many said abstinence, keeping pure, don’t put yourself in situations where you’re tempted. Love God first, love yourself and respect others. Have integrity. Yes!
My add on was this… I’m speaking from a female perspective but this could easily be reversed. The other question to ask yourself- Are these my standards… if not itwould be wise to work on them.

How does he treat his mom? How does he drive? How does he treat animals? These show how he will treat you. Is he abusive or respectfull in these three situations?
Does he already have a good relationship with the Lord? Is he going to church for you or because of his relationship with Jesus? Is he financially wise and would he be willing to have a financial mentor to be the most responsible he can be in the relationship?

Is he willing to sit down and plan out a future together that respects both of you, your hopes and dreams.

Respect, kindness, faithfulness… the choices loving people make.